Don't Drink the Haterade: Seven Tips to Deal with Haters One of the hardest parts of the Beachbody business as a coach is putting yourself out there for the whole world to see. It takes a lot of courage to show off those "before" shots (little lone to take them in the first place). Regardless of how far you've come in your journey, you're still going to have sensitivities about your transformation. It's normal to fear judgment from others as you share your photos, workouts and lifestyle transitions. Let's face it: the world has a lot of mean people in it who take every opportunity they can to spread around their daily dose of negativity.
I've experienced my own haters as I've shared details about my life and business. They criticize specific parts of my body, judge how I live and even say mean things about me as a person. And, THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW ME! But, that fact completely evades them as they share their snarky "wisdom" with my other followers.
So, after all of this pessimism, how do I continue to share vulnerable stories with others? Because, I've determined these haters are not on my radar. But, how did I get to that point? The same way you can:
- Know that a hater can be anyone. Most of the time, we figure that our biggest critics will be people we don't know. Strangers. But, that's not always the reality. Often, it's people in our own "safe" circles who are the most critical of us and what we do. It might be a family member, friend, colleague, boss or, yes, even a random stranger. Don't be surprised by who places judgment on you.
- Their hate is more about them than about you. Usually, when a person exhibits critical behavior, it reflects more about their own vulnerabilities than our own. It's NOT personal toward you. Often, behind their anger, a great fear lurks. For instance, if your usual lunch buddies start shunning you when you start shedding pounds, it's about their own fear of acceptance or their own issues with body image. They are afraid that YOU will judge THEM or expect them to change. And, maybe, they are afraid of that change ... or the failure that might result from their attempt.
- Getting defensive won't help. People who know you best can hit you where you are most vulnerable -- and, it HURTS!!! But, don't feed into it. Getting defensive only results in more pain for you -- and feeding them with more fuel for their fires.
- Give it 24 hours. Usually, if a hater makes rude comments or places judgments on you, the results of their remarks die after 24 hours. Just leave it all alone and it goes away on its own. Most haters will see that nobody jumps on their bandwagon and will leave, tail tucked between their legs.
- Know the 1/3 rule. When you are in this business, you have to realize that there are some people who will like you and others who won't. Basically, 1/3 of the people will LOVE the results you've had or what you're sharing. Another 1/3 of your followers hate you -- because you're successful, smart, thin, fit, healthy, breathing, whatever... And, the last 1/3 of your followers just don't care either way. They're off doing their own thing and probably not paying attention to anything you're doing. Don't sweat it -- appeal to that 1/3 who like you and roll on!
- Hate is infectious. Haters make comments on our timelines or posts that make us hate in return. It's kind of like drinking the "haterade"...once we get a taste of it, it's hard to get rid of it. Retaliating with a rude comment or insulting the hater just encourages more of the same. Don't validate the hater with a response...especially a snippy one. Just leave it alone. You appear more positive and classier that way.
- Look where you're aiming. When you were a kid and learned to throw a ball, you were probably told to look where you were aiming -- where you wanted the ball to go. It's the same thing when you're a Beachbody coach. Pay attention to the positive people and energy: that's where you'll end up. Giving your time and efforts to the haters will draw you into their negative camp -- nowhere that will help you in the long run.
Overall, it's like how author James Lee Burke stated it: "The boos always come from the cheap seats. We gain no wisdom from imposing our way on others."