The 8 Best Coffee Hacks
Coffee is the greatest thing you could possibly make in your kitchen. So it’s best to master it, because until you do, all else will just feel like something’s missing. This isn’t just your run of the mill “throw some ground up BOGO coffee in tap water” okay? This is fire we’re playing with here, and it demands respect.
- Cubit Iced coffee can go from flavorful cup of refreshing summer joe, to watered down sink drainage with a hint of horrifically expired coffee and too much sugar. To properly ice your coffee without killing it’s glorious flavor, make your ice out of coffee! All you need is an ice tray. Though it’s best to begin with room temperature coffee so you don’t get nasty plastic chemicals in your cubes. Once frozen, just use ‘em like regular ice cubes. Good iced coffee, without the hassle and expense of cold brew. Win.
- Against the machine It might seem a little neanderthal to try and make coffee without a coffee maker, or even a french press, but it can be done. You may even find all that quality time with every aspect of your coffee to be quite valuable down the road. Just boil your normal quantity of water, kill the burner, and add the appropriate amount of coffee for your taste. Let it swim for several minutes until it begins to sink to the bottom of the pot. At this point, you can just ladle your coffee from the pot. If it’s not as simple as that, and your relationship seems to be waning, you can use a strainer to remove the grounds. Either way, it’s good to have some time alone just to talk. Y’know?
- The Same Old Grind Coffee grinders have their set of drawbacks, like anything. They are however widely preferred to pre-ground beans. You get a greater depth of flavor, and more robust cup. Then it happens, you open your pantry to retrieve your grinder, only to find a bit of powdery left over grounds in the bottom of it. This is terrible. You’ve not only left it alone, never to be brewed, but you’ve completely forgotten it. This is the stuff of broken homes and abandoned dreams. But there is hope, and it’s name is stale bread. That’s right, crumble up a bit of crispy bread in your coffee grinder, and let it work it’s magic. After grinding it up, it will not stick to the grinder, and it will pick up all your old grounds. Just don’t leave the bread crumbs in there, that is not how you make good coffee.
- Pat it down Milk isn’t the best thing you could put into your system. Synthetic hormones, processing, pesticides, and antibiotics all took it’s toll on what milk “used to be”. Pair it with sugar, and you’ve knocked out the healthy aspect of a cup of joe. Because it is often used in decent quantity in a cup of coffee, it adds unnecessary calories. What’s the secret alternative? A pat of butter, of course. Grass-fed butter is ideal, as it contains zero chemicals and is minimally processed. A pat of butter is considered a healthy fat, and contains minimal amounts of lactose and casein. So much so, that they’re only considered “trace” amounts. It’s salty, it’s creamy, and it’s an energy booster in the early morning. The fat helps to slowly disperse the caffeine in your system, for a longer effect. Win, win, win, and win.
- So, you hate butter… If the idea of a pat of butter in your morning coffee is a little more strange than you’d prefer, or you don’t like the flavor, there is an alternative to the alternative. As it happens, creamer isn’t an elusive secret that can only be found in the mountains of Tibet after an ancient creamer-summoning ritual. It’s just a dense version of any sort of milk product, to give your coffee more substance and a smoother flavor. All of which can be achieved with some almond milk, rice flour, honey, and a touch of vanilla. It’s best to begin with all organic ingredients, of course. In a saucepan, just add about about ⅓ the amount of almond milk in rice flour gradually, and under low heat. Keep stirring the rice flour until you reach the consistency you want to use as a creamer. Add a touch of honey, and organic vanilla or vanilla extract to taste. YUM!
- License to salt If no matter how hard you try, your coffee comes out just a little bitter, fear not! Talk to it, console it, and try to empathize with it’s feelings. It’s only one person, and it needs someone to be there for it. That someone is salt. Add a pinch of salt to a bitter cup to put a smile back on it’s face. It’s the little things that keeps your relationship steady.
- Grinders too mainstream? If you don’t have a grinder on hand, maybe you can’t see buying one when you have a perfectly good blender, or perhaps you’re a little TOO paleo and you spent 90 days in a tropical rainforest in a loin cloth hunting down coffee beans, roasted them over a fire, and used a couple of rocks to grind ‘em up. This is a bad idea, and blenders work great. Just as a pair of pants and some store bought coffee beans work great, too. Just pulse until properly grinded for brewing. Not too chunky, not too powdery. It’s a fine line, but I have faith in you.
- Coff-tail Iced coffee is an elusive creature. But so are cocktails, and we humans seem to have mastered those. Shaken, not stirred says your coffee. Because it’s classy, and it demands perfection. If, like me, you often picture your coffee wearing a tuxedo, a cocktail shaker may be for you. Leave the stainless steel shaker in a bowl of ice, letting it become nice and frosty. Add a touch of ice, healthy creamer, add hot coffee to it, and shake it up while listening to the theme from a Bond movie. Boom, coff-tail.